Зависимость от боли

The author describes a difficult childhood involving bullying, emotional neglect from parents, and a prohibition on showing weakness. This led to social withdrawal and a habit of suppressing emotions. To express emotional pain, fear, and loneliness, the author engages in self-harm, noting the development of dependence on this behavior and a decline in overall well-being. While there were past suicide attempts, the current main issue is the inability to cope with increasing stress and self-criticism, as well as a fear of showing weakness in front of others.