My father’s nagging

Your father is showing wisdom and foresight. The future is arriving faster than you think, and he is preparing you for it.

There’s a concept called 'Designing Your Life.' Stanford professors suggest using design thinking methods (planning) to plan your career, test different professions, and find work that truly resonates with you.

It’s important to start reflecting now on what you want to achieve in life, what you’re capable of, and what your strengths are. This won’t be an easy question to answer. A degree doesn’t limit you to working in a specific field—statistically, only 27% of people with a completed higher education work in their field of study, and that’s perfectly fine.

For example, if a student studies English, they don’t have to become a teacher; they could work as a manager in a multinational corporation.

Remember, too, that graduating successfully doesn’t guarantee you’ll land a prestigious job or climb the career ladder quickly. Your professional success depends not only on your competence, organizational and leadership skills, but also on your ability to connect with people and work well in a team.

Your personal qualities and determination are the foundation of a successful career and professional fulfillment. Stay curious, work on yourself, and broaden your horizons to build a thriving career in the future.

Hello. Well, you probably have some desires and fantasies—even ones not consciously activated—about what you’d like to do and what you’d like to dedicate yourself to. And to your father, you could jokingly reply that your scholarship is your only income right now. Which isn’t bad and is the truth. That’s your job at this stage and the equivalent of earning a living. Studying and receiving a scholarship.

It’s your second year, not your fifth…

Though I suppose this bothers you. I’m curious about what your father’s statements actually imply. If you’d like to explore that further.

Hello.

Most likely, behind your father’s question lies his anxiety about your future. But if it upset you, it’s worth exploring. It may be connected to the fact that you’re currently going through a period of separation.

I wouldn’t frame your situation solely in terms of “Dad is right or Dad is wrong.” You’re gradually learning to determine for yourself how to live. It’s not always easy for parents to adjust—until recently, you were younger and looked to your father for guidance. Now, it’s important for you to slowly develop your own opinions, make your own decisions, and better understand what *you* truly want.

So, instead of focusing on whether your father is right, I’d suggest asking yourself: How do *you* envision your future? What steps can you take now to gradually move toward your own fulfillment?

Hello!

Father's nagging

You could phrase it that way. Or you could look at it differently. It might have been a manifestation of your father’s care for the future of his sons(!)
Care in the sense of his concern about what you spend your time on—

“Do you know why you don’t know? Because you spend all day on TikTok.”

—and an attempt to connect two important aspects: independence and responsibility. When I mention the latter, I mean responsibility in every sense of the word.

The truth is, your father acted as best he could and in the way that felt natural and familiar to him. This is about narrative.

Separate from this situation, I’d like you to consider other aspects of your relationship with your father, beyond the love you acknowledge.

Is your father a role model for you in terms of how he has lived his life?

Do you find him personally interesting?

What have you learned from him?

Is there anything you’d like to be like him in?

I think it would be helpful for you to talk to your father about his childhood and youth. What filled those years for him? What did he enjoy? How and thanks to whom or what did he become an adult?