How do I stop loving a guy?

If a person could cancel their feelings, forget, stop loving, how easy life would be. But, unfortunately, feelings cannot be canceled. They can be experienced, let go of, accepted—or repressed.

I don’t think it’s possible to forget your feelings, nor do I think it’s something that should be done. This infatuation is part of your story and will somehow influence you. You cannot erase or cross out your own history. I understand that unrequited love is difficult to endure, but it is certainly not fatal.

Forgetting someone is like being told not to think about a green parrot: "The force of action equals the force of reaction." Instead, I suggest you don’t ignore your emotions but rather accept them, acknowledge them, live through them, and then let them go.

There’s nothing wrong with liking this guy. And there’s nothing terrifying about your relationship being hopeless. Who said we can only fall in love with those who can reciprocate our feelings? He is probably truly worthy of your feelings, and you are worthy of feeling them.

You can write a letter to him, expressing all the feelings and emotions you have for him. It’s better to write this letter by hand. You don’t have to send it—in fact, you probably shouldn’t—because it’s more for you than for him. You can write these letters every day until you feel the intensity of your feelings toward him fading. Alongside this, I’d recommend engaging in physical practices—dancing, yoga, breathing exercises, swimming. These will help stabilize your emotions, making it easier for you to process your feelings and cope with your state.

Edited by author 09.09.2026 14:38

Hello! This is indeed a difficult, but very real and emotionally draining situation. It’s wonderful that you’re working with a psychologist and have recognized the key point: you don’t see a future with him and want to make space in your heart for mutual love. Your decision to distance yourself and stop loving him is a mature step for your own emotional well-being.

Redirect your focus to yourself. When we’re in love, much of our thoughts and energy go toward the other person (jealousy over their friends, sadness over the separation). Now, it’s time to reclaim that energy for yourself. Fill this “vacuum.” Find a new hobby, sign up for a course, start learning Spanish through Latin American songs, or take up Thai boxing. New neural connections will gradually replace thoughts of him. Expand your social circle. Start going on dates when you feel ready, or simply spend more time with other acquaintances. This will show your brain that the world doesn’t revolve around one person with whom you share an attraction to men.

Allow your feelings to fade naturally. Don’t scold yourself if you suddenly remember him fondly or feel the urge to unblock him. Feelings that have developed over years don’t disappear in a week. Be gentle with yourself and continue discussing these stages with your psychologist.