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The author describes a midlife crisis linked to several issues. They discuss a long-standing habit of masturbation and pornography consumption that has become more extreme over time. They feel their sexual interests are focused on dominant and experimental practices that their spouse does not share, leading to internal conflict. They also express concerns about financial difficulties, living with their spouse’s father, and a lack of prospects. They admit to visiting dating sites and report experiencing episodes of depression, including thoughts of escaping reality in drastic ways, though they recognize their problems are less severe than those faced by people affected by war.