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Тетяна Штапова
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You are reading a translation of this question from the original language: Ukrainian
Question by: Анастасія Age: 36

Fear of returning to work

Hello!

I haven’t worked officially in about six years. At first, I was on maternity leave, then the pandemic started, followed by the full-scale war. Now I feel ready to go back to work and want to find a remote position.

I’ve already put together my resume, browsed job listings, and even sent out a few applications. There were interviews—sometimes we just didn’t suit each other, and other times they simply didn’t call back. I understand that’s a normal part of job hunting.

But now I’m facing a problem. I find a job posting, but I’m too afraid to apply. I freeze up. I’m scared they’ll call me, invite me for an interview, start asking questions, and I’ll get flustered, won’t be able to answer well, will come across as incompetent, or won’t meet their expectations.

At the same time, I know that adjusting to a new job takes time and that I’ll figure it out and learn. During the time I wasn’t working officially, I did freelance work—sewing to order and handling SMM for stores (I’m actually an economist by training). So I wasn’t completely out of work, but returning to official employment is causing me a lot of anxiety.

I’m no longer considering freelancing because I want a stable job and steady income.

I’d like to understand how to deal with this.
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Psychologists’ answers

Vitaliy Bondarchuk — psychologist
Vitaliy Bondarchuk psychologist
Київ ·
Good afternoon! So, I see that you're familiar with the situation where you can't seem to achieve more or improve your life. It feels like you really want to—and even feel you should—but the process just never gets started. Your dreams remain dreams, shifting every January from one year’s plan list to the same list for the next year. And often, the problem isn’t a lack of talent, time, or opportunities, but rather the psychological “walls” we build ourselves in our own minds. This is called limiting beliefs—thoughts and attitudes that hold us back from growth, self-fulfillment, and, ultimately, success. They can apply to almost any area of life, from romantic relationships to learning a new skill, finding a new job, increasing your income, or starting your own business. These psychological barriers are formed by thoughts like “I can’t,” “I don’t deserve it,” or “the world is the way it is, and nothing can be changed.” They often include sweeping generalizations: “everyone,” “no one,” “never,” “only,” and so on. And phrases like “I can’t,” “it won’t work,” “I doubt myself,” “I’m afraid.” And so on, and so on…

But these beliefs strongly influence your behavior, narrowing your possibilities and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone. The key realization, though, is that these are just your beliefs—not reality—and they can (and should!) be changed.
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