I’m very anxious and overthinking everything

Hello. I’m so sorry: what you’re describing is an incredibly heavy, exhausting state. When every day feels like charging into battle and your brain won’t stop spinning worst-case scenarios, it drains an enormous amount of energy. You’re absolutely right—disappointments and betrayals happen to many people. But we’re all wired differently. You have a more sensitive nervous system, and past painful experiences sank deeper into it, turning into hypervigilance. Right now, your brain is just trying to protect you, even if it’s doing so in an extreme way—it scans for threats everywhere so you can ‘be ready.’

In reality, most first-year college students are wrapped up in their own insecurities. They’re just as worried about how they look, what others think of them, and who they’ll sit with.

When your brain starts spinning the worst possible scenario—‘No one will greet me’—don’t just try to suppress the thought. Follow it consciously, but with a rational response. ‘I’ll arrive, and no one will greet me. So what?’—‘Yes, it’ll feel unpleasant and hurtful. But it won’t kill me. I’ll just take my seat, open my phone or notebook. Their refusal to engage is their choice, and it doesn’t make me a bad person.’

If you feel these thoughts are paralyzing your life and you’re struggling to cope, it would be very wise to see a psychologist. To work through past betrayals and rebuild a basic sense of safety. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.

Why are you afraid to go to college? Did you have an unpleasant experience at school?

But your fear is completely normal and natural. Even the very idea sounds scary: "for the first time," "a new group," "college."

You’re entering a completely unfamiliar place where you don’t know anyone, and your brain automatically switches to self-preservation mode: "What if they don’t accept me? What if I look foolish?"

But let’s look at this situation from a different angle to stop overthinking it.

First, EVERYONE else feels the same way.

Second, you won’t be walking into a tight-knit gang where everyone has known each other for years. Almost everyone in that group is just as nervous, sitting there with sweaty palms, thinking: "God, I hope I don’t look like an idiot. Who should I sit with?"

Some will act like the most confident person in the room (just a defensive mask).

Others will bury their faces in their phones, too afraid to speak first. And if someone nearby seems calm—believe me, inside, they’re experiencing the same storm. You’re all in the same boat.

And third, no one expects perfection from you.