The Psychology of War Explained Simply

No one can ever be truly prepared for war. No one can ever get used to it. Above all, because war is incompatible with life – it is the antithesis of progress and all human values.

Yet, when this disaster strikes your land, it is crucial to clearly understand what is happening to you and the people around you. This understanding allows you to act effectively and avoid becoming a problem for yourself and those nearby. Knowledge is always power, and if we are faced with such a trial, we must understand everything about it.

The Cyclical Nature of Emotions in War

The first thing to understand about war is the cyclical nature of the emotions people experience.

The first stage is always the natural instinct to mobilize all the body’s resources. To survive, all systems must operate at maximum capacity – this is ensured by the hormone adrenaline. As a result, we initially feel:

• Optimism (humans are naturally inclined to hope for the best): We cannot help but win, for truth is on our side!
• Inspiration: We eagerly begin to act, and the very process of resistance gives us strength.
• Excitement helps us save ourselves, but for some, it begins to hinder clear thinking. Eventually, it reaches its peak and finally transforms into shock euphoria: we are filled with emotions that give us strength, ready for emergency actions, united, dynamic, and thinking quickly (though not always rationally, but that’s another matter). This is what Ukrainians experienced in the first week, when we held our ground, repelled the enemy, and all became one, helping each other – because survival was at stake!

However, it is impossible to sustain such a high level of emotion for long. Energetically, it is extremely draining, and reserves inevitably deplete, especially against the backdrop of fatigue, stress, sleep deprivation, traumatic experiences, and other shocking moments. Then comes the next phase – emotional decline. This, too, is like a wave, but one that plunges sharply downward:

• Anxiety grows, as people receive more and more destructive information and experience their own shocking impressions.
• At some point, denial kicks in: “This cannot be true; I will wake up, and it will all pass like a terrible dream!” The psyche refuses to accept the horrifying reality – because it is impossible to accept as normal the killing of children, bombed cities, and the tears and despair of loved ones and even strangers.
• As a result, fear gradually intensifies, eventually turning into panic: the struggle continues, but so does the enemy’s pressure. The aggressor’s actions are unpredictable and extremely cruel, and there is a whole spectrum of threats: social catastrophe, nuclear disaster, or, one way or another, the loss of life or health.
• Ultimately, the tension reaches its peak: people fall into despair. This often pushes them toward illogical actions that harm themselves and others – attempts at suicide, acute conflict behavior, hysteria, or, conversely, emotional and physical stupor, as if life within them has frozen. If, at this moment, one does not receive proper support or manage to pull themselves together, the consequences can be fatal.

But as the saying goes, it is always darkest before the dawn. After the phase of despair, the phase of the "phoenix bird" – rising from the ashes – inevitably arrives.

• Faith always keeps a person afloat, even in the fiercest storm. For some, it is faith in God; for others, it is faith in justice, in their own strength, or in luck – anything that helps you.
• In individuals and society as a whole, fueled by faith, hope emerges. At first, it flickers like a tiny light in the darkness, but then it burns brighter and brighter, especially as events unfold. Sooner or later, they begin to bring joy as they align with the principle of justice, and this restores and sustains the next, most constructive emotion in a person:
• Optimism. It is optimism that allows a person and society as a whole to recover, rebuild what was lost, and move forward after the greatest trials. Humans are inherently optimistic – otherwise, the world would have destroyed itself long ago. Optimism and faith in the possibility of overcoming war and its consequences are the driving forces of victory.

The Paradoxical Nature of Emotions During War

The second important feature of emotions during war is their paradoxical nature.

Many people are overwhelmed by guilt – literally like a wave, and just as destructive as a tsunami. Those in the thick of combat, on the front lines, do not experience this; they have their own personal hell – anger, hatred, despair… But those who have already found safety unexpectedly face this terrible phenomenon: Why was I saved and not those who had it worse? Why can’t I contribute as much as others? Why did I turn out to be so weak? Why am I so afraid? Why am I never a hero?

To overcome feelings of guilt, remember: there is no "normal" in war, and war is not an Olympic competition. It is not a contest of heroism; no medals are awarded for the best volunteering, and no one is punished or judged for having just enough strength to escape danger.

War is not normal, but it is normal during this time to worry, cry, despair, and not be okay! Resources and opportunities vary, as do circumstances.

• Some have enough strength to volunteer but lack the opportunity because they have elderly relatives and young children under their care – people they cannot leave behind. And that is okay!
• Some managed only to leave the combat zone, and in a safer area, they are overwhelmed by despair and loss of strength. That, too, is okay – you have already done a lot. You did not need to be rescued by the military; you managed on your own. Perhaps you saved your children, which may be the most important thing.
• Some went abroad to save their families. That, too, is okay, because you are preserving for Ukraine its most precious asset – its young citizens, who will grow up without knowing the horrors of war.
• Some have lost their jobs and have no means to live, yet still feel guilty – they would like to support others who are worse off, but they have nothing to give!

So, guilt is a typical feeling, but do not drown in it:

• Write down or mentally note all the positive moments that have already happened to you.
• Recall your strengths: How can you now be useful to your family, the people around you, and your country? Refugees do not sit idle: they cook food for themselves and soldiers, weave camouflage nets, sew clothes, and babysit for those who have found work. Those who did not flee and live in relatively safe areas but lost their jobs due to the war – and now do not know what to do, feeling useless – can explore all their hidden reserves: What else can you do to support yourself in these drastically changed conditions?
• If you cannot yet give something to others, that is not your fault. Give yourself a break and restore your own resources – after all, how can you give when you have lost everything? Sleep, read, walk, rejoice in the fact that you can breathe, see the world, and live!
• Communicate with people who can provide support. Asking for help is not shameful! It is not a sign of weakness – after all, when you are sick, you are not ashamed to seek treatment, are you? Similarly, now: ask for help, because the sooner you receive it, the more effective it will be.

Preparedness for Any Turn of Events

The third important factor in the psychology of war is preparedness for any development.

Do not set yourself up for a quick victory – to avoid disappointment. Do not wind yourself up in the opposite direction, falling into despair because “the sun will never rise.”

Always have several plans for different scenarios. By creating these plans, you attempt to keep the situation under control, at least in your own mental space, and avoid panic. Additionally, you become more flexible: if Plan A fails, it will not be a disaster for you – it will not cause stupor or despair – because you have other options.

What happens when you have only one plan, and it is overly optimistic? Putin’s blitzkrieg project vividly demonstrates this (Hitler made the same mistake before him, but such people never learn from history).

So, outline several scenarios for how events might unfold:

• What will you do (step by step!) if the war reaches the place where it is currently relatively peaceful – where you are now? Who can help you? Where does our state provide assistance? How and in what ways do other countries offer practical support? Study the details of emigration, learn the actions to take in case of an attack on the city where you are – study any potentially useful information.
• What will you do if it turns out you have nowhere to return – your home, city, or village no longer exists? What are your professional skills? What kind of work can you find, and where? Think about your integration into the place where you have arrived, or assess other opportunities. Currently, the situation is such that almost no one in the world will refuse Ukrainians who decide to emigrate. But if you do not intend to leave your homeland, think about where your home will be now, who can help you, and how. Remember everyone who has ever been in your life – classmates, groupmates, colleagues, acquaintances, distant relatives – someone among them will surely be your lifeline!
• Imagine, just for a couple of minutes, that the absolute worst has happened. You have lost loved ones, your home, or your health. If you are afraid and feel you cannot handle such strong emotions, that is perfectly natural – just do this only in the presence of a professional, a psychologist. However, these small “doses of poison” allow you to be prepared even for the worst – and not become a helpless victim if, God forbid, it happens. Write out a scenario even for the worst events, as if in Hollywood – and let it remain just a scenario.

War, surprisingly, is still life. It has routines, certain things that must be done daily. They are like threads (and often real ropes) that hold us and prevent us from drowning.

If there is any possibility to maintain a familiar rhythm of life, be sure to stick to your established rituals, habits, and traditions. They are your bridges to a normal, peaceful life. Cherish them so you can later restore everything that was dear to you. Be sure to listen to music, read, draw, play with children – do what your soul yearns for. This will prevent it from turning to stone. The more “normality” you can preserve within yourself, the more good you can do for the country when it begins to recover, and the more support you can provide to those around you and your loved ones.

Important: During war, everyone must do their small part. The rear holds the front on its shoulders, and the stronger, calmer, and more reliable the rear is, the easier it will be for the soldiers to win. These small, routine tasks are what keep the remnants of peaceful life in the country going. Therefore, in the cities of Western Ukraine, where this is still possible, everything that can operate must operate:

• Stores, bookstores, hair salons – these are not “unnecessary luxuries,” but workplaces and much-needed comfort.

Another important point: Do not demand supernatural heroism from those around you – feats or achievements they are not ready for. War is not the time to put on a white coat and compete with others in terms of your activity, self-sacrifice, and nobility. Your volunteer work – if you have it – is not a reason to boast about it on social media or among your circle, making it into self-promotion. Good is done quietly, routinely – this, too, is the routine of war.

Above all, this is not the time to be noble at someone else’s expense, forcing others to act in ways that seem right to you. War itself is not a normal situation, and therefore, during war, there are no norms – so do not impose them on anyone, do not accuse, do not take out your aggression on loved ones and acquaintances. Direct your anger at those who caused it – and that is definitely not your friends and family members, but the enemies who destroyed your world.

If you feel an irresistible urge to do something, remember: you do not need to do just anything – you need to do something specific. Find out where and what kind of help is needed – there is a lot of information about this now. Consider yourself a “home front soldier”? Find your general and headquarters; do not rush around aimlessly. Help is most effective when it is clearly directed and well thought out.

The Power of Meaning

Finally, but most importantly: meaning is the greatest force in life. The famous psychotherapist Viktor Frankl, who survived imprisonment in a concentration camp during World War II, eloquently proved that only those who understood why they were enduring their suffering survived the harshest trials. When you know the “why,” you can endure any “how.”

For some, meaning is their children. For others, it is love. For others, it is freedom. For others, it is a dream not yet fulfilled. Find your meaning and act for its sake. You will see that it is much easier to endure anything when you are guided by your star, when you are internally motivated.

This is the strength of Ukrainians – we are deeply motivated. We fight for our own, and we have a purpose: to win our freedom.

So, everything will be fine, Ukraine!

With respect,
Psychologist Nataliia Tsarenko